Well, no problem! How could we blame you? You were asleep, after all.
Come on, how many of you have sex while sleeping? Raise your hands!
Ok, now how many of you have accidentally and unknowingly raped someone while sleeping? Not too many of you?
Well, that doesn’t mean that the poor guy in the UK who was cleared of rape in a recent trial on the grounds he was sleepwalking doesn’t deserve to be pardoned.
I mean, it can be very easy to accidentally find a sleeping woman when you are yourself sleeping, to become accidentally and unknowingly aroused, to accidentally rape her, and then to wake up with no knowledge of your criminal behavior whatsoever.
Come on hetero ladies out there, how many men in your lives sleep-walk around the community with hard-ons and (ooops) rape people while sleeping? It’s an easy mistake to make!
So, why all the fuss about this guy being cleared of rape charges? We can’t BLAME him for something he didn’t knowingly do.
We might, however, blame the woman who was raped – what was she thinking being there in her own home, in her daughter’s bedroom, fast asleep, all ready and willing to be raped? Boy, the ways in which women ask for it never seek to amaze me! As if having a vagina is not asking for it enough, she had to actually be asleep too? How could we blame the poor sleepwalking guy given these facts?
Are these the kind of thoughts that went through the judge’s head in this recent UK case? Through the jurors? How in the F*** can someone be given the “get out of rape free” card on a sleepwalking defense?
Now, I admit a penis is not one of my bodily accoutrements, but from my experiences with those of penis privilege, sex takes a bit of focus – it does not seem something easily carried out while sleeping. Now, erotic dreams, (wet or dry) are one thing, but actual sex while asleep? Sounds pretty unlikely.
If sex while sleeping is unlikely, rape while sleeping seems damn near impossible. It also belies the imagination that people can violently assault, stab, and even murder in their sleep. Yet, the sleepwalking defense has been used in many such cases. For example, in May 2008 a 28 year old Florida man was cleared of sexually molesting a 12 year old girl after using a sleepwalking defense. Further, in 1999, the sleepwalking defense was used by a man who stabbed his wife 44 times then drowned her in the family swimming pool.
While I am no sleepwalking expert, I find this defense extremely problematic – and most definitely so in this recent UK rape case. For one, the man who has been acquitted, Jason Jeal, has NO MEDICAL HISTORY OF SLEEPWALKING. His lawyer suggested to the jury he should be cleared of charges as he was sleepwalking, noting that people do crazy things such as “going to the toilet in the wardrobe” while asleep. Hmmm, so dreaming of walking to the bathroom and accidentally peeing in your closet is equivalent to passing out in your friend’s home and then RAPING her as she sleeps next to her nine year old daughter? Unbelievable.
Worryingly, two other recent UK cases allowed “sexsomnia” to be used as justification for acquittal. Kenneth Ecott, 26, was not charged with raping a 15 year-old-girl as he was supposedly asleep. James Bilton, 22, was cleared of three counts of rape on a sleepwalking defense in 2005.
Jane McKenna, the woman raped by Jason Jeal, has waived her right to anonymity as she is concerned about more attackers using the sleepwalking defense. She notes, “These people should not just walk free – they should either be given a prison sentence or medical treatment, otherwise we could find more and more people finding this defence on the Internet and using it.”
Indeed, it seems just about anything can get you acquitted of rape these days. What’s next? The “hard-on defense”? “I had a hard on, judge, it wasn’t intentional. My boner made me do it.”
According to UK law, a defendant is guilty of rape only if the attack is intentional. Forgive me for my naiveté, but I think being able to claim sleep as a defense is whack. How is it that much different from “I was drunk. I don’t remember. I didn’t do it on purpose.” How is “not remembering” (Jeal’s defense) because one is supposedly asleep different from “not remembering” because one was intoxicated?
How would these cases be different, I wonder, if it was women doing the rape, murder, and sexual assault? I somehow doubt they would be handed the “get off scot free” card quite as easily…
Rape and sexual assault is a product of patriarchy (as this post at Womanist Musings clarifies). Yet, colluders such as Helen Mirin still use the “she was asking for it” card. When Mirin claims that women are “animalistic” and “sexually jealous,” she entirely forgets the ways in which patriarchy CONDONES and PROMOTES and even ENCOURAGES rape – does so, to such an extent in fact, that now men can pull the “I was asleep” card and get off rape charges with NO PUNISHMENT, NO COUNSELING, NO MEDICAL TREATMENT, NADA! Absolutely disgusting.
I agree with Jane McKenna but not with you.
It is actually very possible that at least some of these men legitimately suffer from sexsomnia, and did forcibly have sex with (i.e., rape) someone else unknowingly. I don’t think if it’s a legitimate case of sexsomnia that the man should go to jail.
At the same time, these men should not walk free either. If a man knows he is susceptible to committing crimes in his sleep, he should be prevented as much as possible from repeating said crime or crimes. A court order should make sure he’s strapped down every time he sleeps so that he can’t rape any more than his sleeping bag or blanket in the future. And the man should also seek therapy from a sleep specialist and go in for regular treatment.
There are definite alternatives to “send him to prison as you would any normal rapist” and “just let him go free as if he didn’t do anything.”
Ubuntucat,
Thanks for commenting.
I am wondering why you see rape while sleeping as “very possible.” I couldn’t find much hard evidence concerning sexsomania, it only seems to come up when used as part of a legal defense – and then in the interests of the rapists — so, not much objective information out there.
And, I never suggested prison as a cure. Eradicating patriarchy (though a difficult task) would be the real cure…
Sleep disorders can cause people to do bizarre and even violent things. It seems impossible, but people have leapt out of buildings and gotten into fistfights.
That said, someone who was sleepwalking and raped someone needs to be in a sleep clinic, taking medications, undergoing treatment of all kinds. This is not a one-shot thing.
Any defense that rests on altered mind-states needs to have attached to it institutionalization with long-term probation. Your illness has proved to be a danger to society. You lose the liberty to refuse treatment in that case.
I agree with you – if sleep disorders can indeed result in such violent acts, then the people who have this problem can most definitely not be cleared and sent on their merry way. I entirely agree with your suggestion that defenses that rest on such claims must have mandatory treatment as part of the package. I still question using this defense with no medical history or evidence, though. It is too rife for abuse — too much of a
“he said, she said” where what “he” says always seems to win…
You know I have seen this defense only used by men. If this were a true phenomena where are the case historys of women being sexually violent with men? Where are the cases of women butchering their lovers and husbands? What is this a gender specific phenomena? Women seem to manage to sleep with damaging anyone. This is just another excuse to that men use to explain away their violence. I don’t buy it for one second.
Secondly if this is legitimate, these men should constitute a danger to society. If they are capable of raping or murdering their sleep once then they are capable of doing it again. Why is there no forced treatment? If someone is found not guilty due to mental defect they are sent to hospital clearly even the legal system knows that this defense is false as they do not assign treatment. Yeah I have huge issues with this.
The types of sleepwalking that men and women experience are different, which may nod toward different socialization. But we don’t accuse men of “faking” enjoyment in hunting simply because they like it more than women, or women “faking” depression because they are diagnosed at higher rates than men.
I listened to a radio story where a man leapt through a window, off a balcony, and didn’t wake up until he was halfway down the street. So destructive behavior is possible.
Prof, I understand your anger (and share it – I’d say the chances are reasonably good that they’re not “real” sexsomaniacs, because I am a pessimist) but lashing out against those with disabilities and medical problems, to the extent of declaring that they cannot and do not exist, is ablist and not cool at all. The same claim has been made about the people (mostly women) who suffer from fibromyalgia, those who suffer from depression, from insomnia, from narcolepsy, from Turrets, from Alzheimers and from a hundred other disorders with no “provable” symptoms, and I’m saddened to see it pop up here.
This in no way means we have to let men unconsciously rape women, nor do we have to take reported experience at face value, but dismissing other people’s experiences of their own lives out of hand is not okay.
Anita,
Most of the stories I have heard about sleepwalking involve self-destructive behavior, like the story you mention.This is why I am particularly suspicious of these sexsomnia cases– they seem,from what I have read, to be using this as a one-off excuse. In the case the post refers to, the man has no medical history of sleepwalking or sleep disorders of any kind, nor was he ordered to under to undergo uany treatment.
I am not lashing out at those with disabilities, rather, I am suggesting that in this case, a false excuse seems to have beenused to justify rape. In fact, this harms people who are disabled by using disability as a defense when this is not warranted. I would say this is similar to claiming insanity when no medical condition exists. These claims are abused becase the burden of proof is based on an individuals claim. This is NOT to say that disabilities don’t exist, or that insanity is not, for some people, a legitimate claim. Rather, these types of defenses are rife for abuse — especially in a culture that all too often excuses men’s violence.
Your reference to hunting is a perfect example — culturally, hunting for sport is seen as ‘ok’. I say enjoying violence and killing is not ok.
Also, in regards to your last paragraph, why was it ok for the jurors and judge to dismiss the woman’s experience? As Renee points out above,doesn’t the fact that only men are committing such acts seem suspicious?
I’ve known two people personally who’ve had sex (among other things) with their partners (who believed them awake) while dead asleep. One of them was female, the other male.
While I think this newest case is likely a ridiculous last-ditch defense, I think it is definitely a simple fact that people have committed horrific acts while sleepwalking. Generally if the defense is accepted, they are ordered to undergo treatment.
Becca,
Thanks for your comment.
All this dialogue about sleepwalking and the horrific things that one can do while sleepwalking leads me to question if this is symptomatic of our many societal ills. Would such things be happening if we did not live in a society that glorifies violence, and, in particular, normalizes sexual violence?
It is disgusting. In order to even use that defense, they should FIRST be required to attend an extended sleep clinic and be monitored for sleepwalking behaviors, to determine whether they even qualify as sleepwalkers. The trial would probably have to be delayed because of it, but that’s way less stupid than letting that a-hole off. Especially without medical treatment. I admit I haven’t read up on the case myself, but really, no medical treatment?? Perhaps the judge was a secret sexsomnniac himself and sympathized. You never know–apparently those sexsomniacs are all over the place! –CC
Definitely an interesting idea. That could be possible, though the fact that many sleepwalkers do truly irrational things (occasionally harming themselves as well as others) does also have to be considered.
What absolute nonsense. Whether or not he was ‘actually’ sleepwalking is irr-fucking-elevant. He RAPED a woman. He committed a crime that must be punished. Do you think he’d have walked free if he’d raped a *man*? Interesting, isn’t it, these men who have no control never ‘accidentally’ rape other men… hmmm.
No wonder so many rape victims see no point in reporting the crime.
Zooeyibz,
Thanks for the comment and the link. Great point about the unlikelihood that he would have walked if he had raped a man – though especially, I might add, if he raped a heterosexual man.
Consider the victim for a moment; they did not choose to be raped. They are entitled to justice.
At the end of the day, whether this sexomnia thing exists or not, whether it was intentional or unintentional, a crime has still been committed and the perpetrator should be held accountable for their actions.
May I please you this as a reference for my Psychology paper? Thankyou very much. It’s really a debatable subject.
Of course!
May I please use this as a reference for my Psychology paper? Thankyou very much. It’s really a debatable subject.
Hi, I dont have alot of time right now to go in to details…I just finished reading all of these threads. First of all I am glad that I found this site, as I have found very useful things to use and think about. I am the wife of someone who is claiming to have this sexsomnia disorder. I have been violated and terrorized for quite some time in “HIS” sleep, while I was sleeping. I have heard the arguement, how could the women not wake up immediatly when this is happening to her? Well, I have some medical conditions and I have medications that I take at bedtime that cause me to sleep deeply. I was not waking up until well into the act or at the ending. Once I started to wake up more frequently to this, I went off of some of the medications without telling him. I needed to “process” what it was that this man I married was doing to me and why??? I did not know anything about “Sexsomnia” and he did not say anything about it. We only found out a few months ago during our trip to our Psychiatrist. (I first started waking up to this stuff a year and a half to two years ago and when he KNEW I wasn’t “Out” the behavior did stop for periods of time. WHen I started taking over the counter “Melatonin” to help me fall asleep.. it started again. THis time he performed “Checks” on me prior to starting. If I wasnt moving to the feeling of his touch he would then proceed. If I moved, he would freeze, then continue when I was back “out”. I want to continue writing as I am desperatly looking for opinions and more insight. So I will get on here again and continue. At this time I want to get to the finish line and then when I write again, I will fill in the missing pieces. My husband was arrested a week ago for assaulting me and my mother. I have disclosed his behaviors and the judge has granted me a 20 day restraining order. on the 20th day is our court hearing. Immediatly after his arrest, a judge gave me emergency protection orders at 4am based on what the officer reported to her, this order was to protect me and my two daughters for 5 days. I have since then received a temporary restraining order from the courts extending to 20 more days. On the 20th day is our hearing. He is out on a bail bond currently awaiting disposition from the D.A……
Our 3 year old daughter is in the middle of why he became violent. I would not let him sleep in her room.
when he was done screaming cuss words at me he went to lay back down on the floor. So then I took my child out of bed. He violently grabbed her out of my arms then threw me, I hit my head on the metal bedframe and inturn the bedframe and my head hit up against the wall. My daughter has a “daybed” so it is positioned differently than a normal bed. I hit the decorative back metal framework. My Mother came in to the room just as he was leaving…she was in his way, so he threw her into the room and down to the floor. She landed on her knee first. Her knee immediatly swelled. it is now bruised and full of fluid.
Anyway I will get to my point here. He became physically violent because I did not let him sleep on her bedroom floor… THIS IS A SEVERE PROBLEM!
If he is claiming to have this “Sexsomnia” wouldnt it make sense that he should make sure that he does not have any easy chance to have it affect one of our daughters? WHat has he done and what is he hiding?
THat is the million dollar question. I has sent him and email (for proof in writing) letting him know that I found an incident of someone else with “sexsomnia” who ended up molesting his daughter’s friend who was sleeping downstairs in his house. I also provided the link to read more. I then asked him not to take naps with our daughter or sleep anywhere near her for both of their protection. I also asked that he look in to this more and get help for his daughters sakes. He has not done anything about this. He needs to seek help and go to a sleep disorder Doctor and go from there. He has not done anything to remedy this problem. He stopped doing this to me about 2 months ago, since the final straw.
Sodomy…. we went to see the Psychiatrist. He was still sleeping next to me and it has not happened since. pretty Ironic? We got in a fight 3 weeks ago and he has been sleeping on the couch, Yet he started taking naps with our daughter. I do not know if he has been in her room at night. So when that came up, I put my foot down. and what insued from that brings up alot of questions…. In the chance that he may read this I have to leave some key things out. But CPS is involved and there is some possible DNA….. we will see what pans out. There is alot I left out, if you are interested in hearing more or have questions please comment.
I will be back soon…Goodnight!
I know this will be one of the first questions…. why did I stay with him and endure this night time abuse? Well….. I had no proof…. he would have ended up getting visitation with my 3 year old all to himself and I would not know what was happening. He was also verbally and emotionally abusive. I stayed because I felt that I could better protect my kids if I knew where they were at all times and they were always in MY home. Not out in the world somewhere in HIS home for days at at time where I would know nothing about what was going on. I could not prove what he was doing to me until things fell in to place in the last few months… The Doctor Identifying this disorder…and documenting it on paper. Then when the ending came down… problem was solved. Now he is gone, and the rest is up to the courts. I have 20 days to prepare my case. I cannot afford a lawyer so I have to go at it myself. This terrifies me but I know I can gift it a good try….research research research. He took all of the money and left me with everything to owe. Got an eviction notice and utility shut off notices. I dont have a penny to my name. Family has been helping us, but they cant give anymore. Tapped out. Everything was so far behind because he became careless with his money, leaving me to have to borrow from my family over and over again, only two utilities are in his name, He scheduled for the water to be shut off tommarrow and he suspended my cell phone! Wont let me have my cell phone number to take to my own account! Okay I have to go to bed…sorry! I will continue….
HelpMom,
Firstly, sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your comments. I have been away from the blog.
Secondly, as Monika notes, you in no means have to justify staying with this man. That the woman is always to blame is one of the evil lies of our patriarchal society. You are the innocent survivor here and the questions/accusations should all be directed at him, the perpetrator.
As Monika advises, I hope you are able to seek out local women’s shelters and women-friendly legal counsel. Please remember that the laws of the US still privilege males, and that the legal system is very adept at blaming women for men’s abuse. None of this is your fault. I wish you the best of luck and hope you and your daughter both have a future free from abuse. If you are unable to find local shelters or counsel, please comment again and I will reply offline.
Helpmom,
I just want to say kudos to you for all you have been through. I wish you the best during this difficult time. Is there a sexual assault centre or domestic violence centre that can offer you support? Does where you live offer any sort of legal aid?
You write that the first question would be “why did I stay with him and endure this night time abuse?”
There is no reason for you to justify staying with him – on this website or to anyone else. You did what you had to do to survive/cope and abusers are master manipulators. Plus, as you say, you were in a better position to protect your kids.
I can’t give you legal advice (I’m not a lawyer) but having everything documented (dated if possible) in a chronological and as objective as possible way may be helpful. Local women’s shelters may be able to assist you with this.
Best of luck
Monika