What if we had a national makeover?

Makeovers are perhaps more omnipresent than ever thanks to reality television, the ever-growing beauty industrial complex, and our collective failure to say “enough already” to participating in the Appearance Olympics. Traditionally, makeovers start at the top – with the head and face. I think it’s high time we forgot about Ashley Simpson’s new surgically sculpted nose or Madonna’s unnerving ability to keep making herself over into a more muscular, taught version of herself.* Instead, let’s focus on a national makeover.

Starting at the top, we really need to do some cutting – cut out the dead weight of corruption and greed and add in heavy highlights of progressive thinking with penchants for social justice. The face of the nation needs help. We could squeeze out our imperfect obsession with consumerism, even out our tone about immigration, and get rid of our blotchy imperfections that result in huge pustules of military bases all over our visage. We definitely need to get our breakouts of racism, homophobia, and sexism under control.

Our shoulders need help too – they are slouching under the weight of the world, attempting to carry burdens they have no business carrying. We need to shrug off acting like Atlas, and put down the damn world already until we have our own little corner figured out. (Plus, we are hardly ‘lifting’ the world, more like knocking it around in our misguided exercise regimen of “spreading freedom and democracy.”) Speaking of exercise, our arms could really use some true reaching out. Rather than trying to heft more profits for bio-pharm, the military industrial complex, or world bankers, we should focus on sculpting some new muscles – muscles that don’t rely on the momentum of patriarchy or the false strength garnered via the economic steroids hawked by the Federal Reserve and World Bank.

Our mid-section is shrinking, our core could use some work. While our head gets bigger and more inflated by the day, our middle is on the verge of collapse and our legs have to do so much darn work they can barely walk, let alone run. The working majority, the legs of our country, are given short shrift. We need to stand on our own two feet and give a much needed pedicure to the base of our nation – slough off our addiction to oil, rub in some nourishing education, clip our tendency to be so blindly patriotic.

Finally, our overall image needs help. Rather than allowing it to be tarnished by the same look all the time–corporate driven media–why not try something new? Perhaps mix in some truth seeking, some independent news, some sense of social justice. With dedication, we just might be able to makeover our nation into something decent–something that we could face looking at in the mirror each morning.

*Madonna recently dissed on her “big fat thighs” on Nightline interview. See, for example, this post at Jezebel.


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