What if God hates heterosexuals?

I am not a believer in the big bearded white guy in the sky touted by my Catholic school upbringing. However, many in the USA subscribe to this belief.

Prompted by all the H8 (hate) circulating in the California air, I would like to hypothesize about God’s supposed hatred of homosexuals. (And, you Yes on H8ers, don’t even try to claim that you are not homophobic – that you ‘have a gay friend’ or ‘support civil unions for gays’ or any other flap-trap. I am sick of your sad little excuses for prejudice and your sorry attempts to cover up your H8.)

I think if there is a God, and if this God had to hate (which seems to be a requirement judging by how often religious people refer to what or who got hates), I think God would be far more likely to hate heterosexuals. They cause all sorts of ruin on this planet… Wasn’t that whole “fall” thing caused by a hetero couple? Don’t heterosexuals start all the wars and commit the majority of the world’s violence? Aren’t they the furthest from the golden rule – Prop 8 being a prime example?

And, quite a bit in the bible actually indicates a certain bent, shall we say, towards same sex love (especially of the male variety). What price, for example, did David give to Saul for his first wife? 200 foreskins! What kind of straight guy would go with that present option? And what group of people makes it into God’s heavenly choir? 144,00 male virgins not defiled by women! (Revelation 14:1-4). Sounds like a gay man’s paradise to me.

So, for a minute, let’s imagine that God hates heterosexuals. What might a website devoted to spreading this news include? (This idea came about in part due to the abhorrent website godhatesfags.com, headed by Fred Phelps, and NO, I will not link to it.) According the logic of Phelps’s brand of homophobic Baptism, homosexuals can be blamed for just about everything. Groups like his, in order to further their agenda of hate, take biblical passages out context and give no historical framework. Sections of the bible that have nothing to do with condemning homosexuality are skewed into a “God hates homosexuals” and “homosexuality is a sin” dogma.How would heterosexuals like it if the bible was used to condemn their sexuality? To accuse them of being damned? To blame them for all the ills of the world? Well, in order to turn the tables, let’s flip some of the often used claims about homosexuality around by condemning heterosexuality and proving that heterosexuals are sinful:

Heterosexuals defy Jesus by loving their families! As Jesus proclaims in Luke 6:22″If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters…he cannot be my disciple.” Heterosexuals flaunt their love for their ‘traditional’ families in direct defiance of Jesus!

God punishes heterosexuals with eternal war! God protects Homosexuals from fighting with the crafty “Don’t’ ask don’t’ tell” policy! Praise to our Homo loving God!

God punishes heterosexuals with natural disasters! Tornadoes are God’s punishment for heterosexual sin! Alaska, thanks to its recent homosexual denunciation of the demon heterosexual Sarah Palin, has been spared!

Heterosexuals are overpopulating the planet by sowing their evil seed and producing demon hetero offspring! They are the cause of climate change! They are the reason fires rage in Southern California! They bring God’s wraith upon the sunshine state.

Adultery is a sin!!! The chosen people – Homosexuals –  cannot commit such a sin – this is why God has blessed them by keeping them safe from the twisted institution of marriage.

Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson… These heterosexuals, with their H8ful acts, spread the sin of heterosexuality throughout the land. God will smite them with hurricanes, meteors, and terrorists!

Heterosexuals are rapists! Their only hope for salvation is to attempt to lead a homosexual lifestyle. They can be cured! Those who refuse salvation should lead a celibate lifestyle. Help save the heterosexuals among you!

These all sound preposterous of course – but they are just as preposterous when similar claims are made about homosexuals.

And, when the bible, or any sacred/religious text is used to denounce entire segments of the population and to spread hate, well, doesn’t that go against what most people claim is good about religion? If religion gives people a moral compass, as so many claim, it seems the compass is out of whack for quite a few believers.

Further, what about homosexuals of faith? Can we quantify the damage done to LGBTQ folk who are taught their desires are sinful? That who they are is ‘against God’? As Alice Walker* so beautifully puts it, “It is fatal to love a God that does not love you.” Walker writes this in the context of  her “inherited religion,” of growing up in a faith where it seemed God did not love her for at least two reasons – because she was female and she was black.

Noting that “We have been beggars at the table of a religion that sanctioned our destruction,” Walker elucidates how oppressed peoples have often furthered their own internal colonization via their religious belief practices – or, they have learned to ‘not love’ themselves via their religions, to internalize the belief that they are not worthy, not chosen, not equal in the eyes of their God. Yet, “All people deserve to worship a God who also worships them,” Walker claims.

Put in the context of today’s religious fueled fights over LGBTQ rights, many people believe that not all people are deserving of God’s love, that not all people deserve to worship God, that God has a ‘special’ place for heterosexuals and their type of love. How is this any different from the days when many churches were claiming “God doesn’t love blacks”? How is it different from the times when women were not allowed to speak in church?

For my own part, I do not believe in nor love the traditional Christian God so popular in the USA –  this God seems to me selfish, judgmental, sexist, racist, homophobic, and cruel. This God is much like a Troll who won’t stop leaving inane, infuriating comments and who somehow draws other crazy trolls to him!

If I were to believe in or love a God, s/he damn well wouldn’t hate homosexuals – rather, s/he would be spreading the love on November 15th, a national day of Protest Against Prop 8, blessing all those who see fit to fight the scourge of homophobia that blights our land.

*Alice Walker, Anything We Love Can Be Saved, 1997.

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5 thoughts on “What if God hates heterosexuals?”

  1. “And, when the bible, or any sacred/religious text is used to denounce entire segments of the population and to spread hate, well, doesn’t that go against what most people claim is good about religion?”

    It’s so true. So many religious people are so busy cherry-picking bible “anti-gay” bible verses that they fail to embody the most simple yet most important virtue recognized by all major religious traditions: compassion.

    Like you, I am simple not willing or able to believe in or love the god that many in our nation worship. While I will never stand in their way to worship “him,” I just don’t believe that a sexist, discriminating, vengeful god is worthy of my devotion.

  2. As a person of (loose and liberal) religious beliefs, I’m personally pissed that fundamentalist anti-gay, anti-choice, anti-love people hijack the Bible and Christian faith, which for all of its faults (and there are many), also shows that Jesus preached nothing on homosexuality or abortion, but lots on poverty and loving one another. Even in the Hebrew Bible and prophets, they focus more on helping your fellow person than condemning the things on the Religious Right’s list.

    My favorite passage is Micah 6:8: “What does God require of you? To seek justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God.” I’ll take that over Leviticus any day.

  3. Isn’t it interesting that through the promotion of a certain kind of fundamentalist Christianity, a lot of people have probably been pushed away from religion, thinking why would they want to believe in a God like that? There are some great Bible verses that advocate love and justice but nowadays when one says they’re Christian we at first don’t really know what they believe in–hate or love.

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