What if we put theory into practice?

Hey, I’ve got a theory for you: men are superior to women, white skin makes one smarter, more capable, and more deserving, and being heterosexual equals normality. I’ve got no proof for this theory (in fact, much to the contrary), but let see if we can put it into practice. So, let’s suppose, theoretically, that men are superior to women. Taking this hypothesis as fact, let’s give men more privileges in society by paying them more, giving them more attention, looking the other way when they are violent, and generally slapping them on the back whenever they get one over on inferior womenfolk. Now, if we also accept that white skin theoretically equals superiority, we need to ensure those with white skin get better jobs, have more power, are represented more often and in more positive ways by the media, and (especially if they’ve got a penis too) deserve to rule the world. Let’s add heterosexuality into the mix. As anyone with any theoretical knowledge knows, heterosexuality is the bomb. It makes one desirable, normal, productive, monogamous, and a good citizen! (If you don’t believe this theory, consider all the heterosexuals that meet these characteristics such as George Bush, Ted Bundy, and Bill O’Reilly, for example)

Now, just for the fun of it, let’s put a different theory forward – let’s propose that all humans are equal and deserve equal treatment and opportunity regardless of gender, body size or parts, skin color, ethnicity, cultural origin, health or (dis)ability, age, nationality, etc. I know, this theory is preposterous – but entertain it just for a moment. Now, if this theory were put into practice, we would have to accede that colonizing others for profit is wrong (gasp!), that invading other countries because you feel you are better and deserve more power is asinine (crap!), that judging others based on their skin color, their body parts and where they put them, how much money they have, the job they do, the people they choose to fornicate, or their appearance is moronic (oops!).

Putting this theory into practice would mean equal pay for equal work, that violence against other living things is wrong, that all people deserve education, love, peace, the freedom to fornicate, etc. It would indicate that human trafficking is wrong, that violence is an indication of societal (rather than individual) ills, that genocide just plain sucks, and that war is not the answer. It would suggest that all people regardless of whether or not they have a clitoris, no boobs, cellulite, fat-tastic thighs, or skin as white as fat-free organic soy milk, are equally human and deserve an equal chance on this planet.

Damn, that second theory is crazy. The first one seems a heck of a lot easier to put into practice.